Many Things Do Not Fly

Here are the main characters in my biology class, my lab group. There’s ME. The main character because I bothered to write about it. If you want to be the main character, either do something phenomenal in front of me (phenomenal can encompass stupidity, mercy, brilliance,hillarity or just catching my attention. By the way I saw a little person yesterday. I did not stare.), or else write your own essay.

So there’s me. Then there’s LaShandra. LaShandra is smart, she’s an easy laugh and she appreciates my strange humor. She’s black, well, more like caramel colored, but you know, she’s ethnically black. Which isn’t the same as African American, in my book. Or in my essay anyway. She’s got a young son. That’s about all I know aboutLaShandra. I like her.

Then there’s Ebony. Ebony is 18 if she’s a day. And college is like 13th grade to her. She wants to talk about fighting with her best friend, or her mom, or if kissing a guy who used to date your best friend is really doing dirt to your best friend (a phrase usually pronounced “Bust Friend?”). She’s surly with the professor when he reminds her that she can’t bring pop or food into the lab. She always does. And she isn’t all that sneaky, but she likes to say with her head lowered just a little, “I don’t rully care? I’m gonna just hide it. That’s stupud.”

If you remember valley-girl talk, you know what Ebony talks like. Ebony, by the way,is heavy-set and white. Isn’t that mean? The white part I mean. To name your white baby Ebony.
Then there’s Aniso. Aniso is tall, thin and beautiful. She’s Somali. Her head-scarf (tied behind her head) and full length skirts area always coordinated and flattering. It isn’t hard I imagine, to find flattering outfits. She has a fabulous figure with long legs and the most callipyginous shape. It’s either a common figure trait in the Somalis or their skirts and scarves play some trick on the eye. Can I acknowledge that without seeming deviant?
Aniso is smart. Really smart. She’s totally interested in the class and it’s being taught in her second language. She’s writing and reading tests in her second (probably third) language. She’s serious and usually only laughs to be polite.

So that’s the cast of characters. Well that and the professor. The professor isn’t the greatest. Imagine some child you know. Then imagine them much bigger, with facial hair. My professor looks just like an older version of my little neighbor Sammy, who is 4. Somehow, at the same time as he looks like my 4 year old neighbor, he also looks like he is just killing time until he’s a shambling old man. He looks like it wasn’t part of his plan to be 30, which I think he is. He has a baby face, but an old man’s mannerisms.

We had to pick a subject to do a group project and here’s how the discussion went. LaShandra thought Albinism would be a good subject to study, and she has cousins who are Albino, so she could hook us up with good resources. Ebony’s dog just had puppies, so she thought we could do a project about dog breeds.

I like to push the envelope, so I said we should do a project on the genetics of sex. How some species can change their gender, how someone can be female in appearance and yet genetically male, how some animals have male and females who are almost identical, including having what looks and functions almost just like a penis in both the males and females, due to hormones in utero…

We were all polite and listened to each other, nodding and adding our little bits of encouragement. When it came time for Aniso to share her idea with us, she threw us for a little loop. You have to imagine her straight nose and her slightly trilled Rs and her modest dress when you imagine her saying, “Itink we should estudy mucous. I was rrreadink about it and it sounds so interrestink.”

We ended up doing Albinism.