I know there are people out there heralding the arrival of Spring and Jesus rising from the dead. I’m happy they have a reason to celebrate. Here in St. Paul we awoke to the dreaded “First Day of Spring Winter Storm Warning”. Sensible people dread it. Not me. I kinda like winter. The light is dimmer, and I look better in dim light. So my celebration of Easter is more about (3 guesses) food.

Easter gives us a chance to try new candy. And trying new candy gives me a reason to share my thoughts with you, even if it’s a little late to help you with this year’s selections. Here is my quick and dirty guide to Easter Candy.

Malted Milk Ball Eggs: A staple of the season here at the Morgans’. Andy had a candy headache by 10am and I’m willing to bet it was mostly a malted milk-ball hangover. I think the candy coating detracts from the ideal malty chocolate experience, but no one here is complaining.

Starburst Jelly Beans: For-freaking-get it. When I first saw these, I was really excited. Because what could be better than Starbursts that don’t stick to your teeth and cause daggers of pain to shoot through them, like the real ones do. Starbursts are one of the candy world’s finest accomplishments. Mouth-watering sour-sweetness that stretches out enough to cover your entire tongue.

Jelly beans flavored like Starbursts offered a juicy, chewy promise of satisfaction without the painful form fitting stickiness. Don’t get your hopes up. They are just regular old sweet jelly beans in a seductive yellow bag with the familiar red lettering. Very disappointing.

Nerds Jelly Beans: These are good. Try them. They might be better than regular nerds, which I love, but only as long as I can ignore the fact that I am biting down on hard sugar chunks. Once I think about the possibility that I might be actually breaking off my own teeth and chewing them, I have to stop the Nerds or just suck on them (which most nerds love, by the way). The jelly bean Nerds have just a crunchy nerd coating and a good chewy middle. They are tart-sweet and appropriately fake fruity. A promise kept. Mmmmm

SweeTart JellyBeans: These were pretty good. I love SweeTarts. Who doesn’t? But the powdery sugary feeling (unlike the crunchy sugary feeling) of the candies gives me a little of the heebie-jeebies. So when an option of Sweet Tart flavor and Jelly Bean texture came along, I was really looking forward to it. I wasn’t disappointed. Except perhaps by the yellow ones. Purple was grape, good and fakey, like grape Crush. Red was some sort of berryish thing. Blue was blue freezie flavor, sometimes called razzberry. Green seemed to be striving for lime. But whose idea was it to make the yellow ones flavored like Urinal Cake? Very bad. Universally disliked here on Holly Avenue. Pick them out, save them for kids without costumes in October.

Peeps: A classic, bland, sugary, marshmallowy, word-muffling mouthful of Easter. As I recall, my mom loved them best stale. Personally, I like them best when someone else eats them. I was pleasantly surprised about the new Peeps Valentine’s hearts which are Red flavored. They were so wrong they were right. Try them and you’ll know what I’m talking about.

Necco Eggs: Linda, I’m sorry. Zach I’m sorry. Neccos were bad enough when they were round. Please explain to me what is good about the chalky, almost candy-flavored wafers you love so much.

Bunnies: Don’t bother with the hollow ones. Skip any with giant ears, unless they’re for the little kids. Go straight for either the Dove Dark Bunny or the Nestle’s Crunch Bunny. You won’t be disappointed.

Peanut m&m eggs: These are another classic. I find the pastel colors a little icky, I can’t say why. But the chocolate-peanut combo is dangerously good for snacking.

I’m sure there are more sophisticated candies out there, but this was our supply list. I swear, for years I augmented the Easter candy hunt with yogurt covered pretzels and chocolate covered raisins (From the Easter Bunny’s incontinent assistant). This year it was all candy. No one complained.

Anyone find any wonderful Easter candies I should be watching for on the half priced rack?


7 thoughts on “Canndeee!

  1. emily says:

    get thee behind me, satan!

  2. lisa says:

    Emily, why you call me Satan? Tell me you don’t love the neccos! There can’t be 3 of you? Holy Socks, Batman. I can’t believe it.

  3. David says:

    Cadbury Mini-eggs. Not the soft phlemy filled ones.. no… the hard candy-coated solid Cadbury milk chocolate ones. I am not a big fan of chocolate, but there is something about Cadbury Milk Chocolate….

    Neccos. Sorry Lisa, but I’m a fan of the Necco wafers too! I love the all chocolate (coco) flavored ones… There is the package with all the colors, then there is the package with all brown ones… THOES are my favorite. I like them because they are sort of chalky and not too sweet… I had not had them in YEARS, until I found them being sold at Fleet Farm. NOw, every time I am there I pick up a few…

    And, along the line of the peanut M & M’s are the Almond M & M’s… They are pretty darn good too!

  4. jenny says:

    you have to try Jolly Rancher jellybeans—so much better than Starburst jellybeans. They taste just like the hard sticks purchased at Roith’s Pharmacy for ten cents.

  5. jenny says:

    Oh, Reester bunnies are the best if you like peanut butter and chocolate

  6. Maggie says:

    Jelly Belly jelly beans definitely, and I LOVE that now I can go for only the flavors I want in the Super Target AND at Cub. (Only go for the sour ones, the best.)

    And Peeps? Emily has been the only one at our house who has liked them for a long time, but they’re kind of fun if you put them in the microwave for a couple of seconds. Then they taste almost like a toasted marshmellow (alas, without the wonderful charcoal flavor that you get over an open fire.) When I was growing up, my mother used to create these lovely centerpieces for Easter dinner with all of the peeps that we got in our Easter baskets, and my father would chow down on them all the while saying how lousy they tasted. “Pop a peep,” we used to call it.

  7. lisa says:

    Reester Bunnies! Clever enough name that I must go and get me some.

    Roith’s Pharmacy and Kenny’s Market. Was Roith’s not an idyllic store for any child with two quarters? All the candy behind the sloping glass or the display case, arranged in order from least to most expensive. Freezies in the freezer behind the counter for 5 cents. And remember Zots? They fizzed on your tongue. Or poprocks? Mmmmm. I’d love me some pop-rocks right about now.
    I always wanted to like the Fire Stix like that Andy Morgan, who was so sophisticated. But alas I was, like Maggie , a sucker for the sour stuff. Apple Stix, strawberry stix or watermelon stix.

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