I’m afraid to ask about this on facebook because people are going off their rockers, frothing at the mouth about this. As if it doesn’t happen all the freaking time. As if it’s a delicious scandal instead of a sadness and a worry. As if they can’t wait for the next outrage to post pictures of, and get outraged about. As if they know something the rest of us don’t know.
So there’s these two guys in the news lately…Let me see if I understand what happened with both these guys and their victims/loved ones. The first one guy punched his fiancee so hard that she became unconscious. He knocked her the fuck out, as my kids would say. That’s a hard hit. It’s unacceptable behavior. The law should be involved, and he (and she, and they) should get some professional help with anger management and trauma.
The other guy, he gave his kid what lots of people are calling a whoopin’. When I was a kid, we called that a beating. And when I was a kid, although I suspected that the beatings involving the dreaded wooden spoon and the blue plastic hairbrush were beyond the pale and venturing into abuse territory, I wasn’t sure. I never experienced the belt, but I think my brother did. I was sure that was in the abuse zone, I’m not sure why.
The two things I haven’t heard (probably because I have tried to avoid the stories) discussed much are these:
First, is it the right thing to do for the families involved here to take away a lucrative career from the man and the income from the family, and leave that family with dysfunction AND economic distress? I understand these are special jobs in the public eye, but in my experience making people be poor doesn’t usually help heal dysfunction. In my experience, it can aggravate an already tenuous family dynamic. Is it the kind of consequence that will add something helpful to whatever the law metes out?
Secondly, is it possible that the kind of sports these guys are engaged in for a living has some sort of impact on their impulse control/inhibition? I don’t know much about that sport or those guys, but from what I’ve heard, they take a lot of blows to the body and head (both of which end up causing TBI’s). I’m just wondering about that.
I don’t mean to excuse these men. I don’t mean to question the badness of what they did. I’m just wanting to discuss these two aspects in a non inflammatory way.